


Blank Walls

by Garecc



Series: Of Immortals [14]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Fading is a real and scary thing, Gen, Gosh ao3 has the exact tags i need wow, Implied Mind Rape, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, Imprisonment, Luke is mentioned - Freeform, So is Pan, familial abandonment, hopelessness, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-02 21:16:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16794898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garecc/pseuds/Garecc
Summary: A story based on the theory that Hermes has been captured by the emperors.Remember, names hold power.Locked away, alone and without ambrosia and nectar, with mortals-turned-godlike poking through his essence as if he were a toy, is Hermes. He’s lost contact with George and Martha, and can feel himself weakening. His domains far and out of his influence. He knows none of his “family” will come for him. He’s truly alone, and at the mercy of his captors.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Please remember, names have power.**

Blank Walls.

Everything around him is blank and dull. There is no color. No personality. Only gray. Everything is gray. Despair bleeding gray.

Days pass.

Weeks pass.

He’s lost track of time. Lost track of the days. Seconds blurring into nothingness. His internal clock, trained by strict schedules and the inability to be even a second late without throwing off months of work, almost shutting down completely.

All he knows is that it's been a long

long

long

long

while.

Months? Years? Decades?

All he could do was hang by his sore wrists, and accept that _no one is coming for him._ He’d long since stopped struggling against the chains. Long since stopped screaming at them to stop as they poked and prodded and went through **Him**. The foreign (Outside, wrong, terrible, invasive, disgusting, not **Him** , not his ~~family~~ fellow gods, not a lover, outside, violating) power rooting around inside **Him**.

Inside his essence

Inside his _being_.

Inside everything keeping him alive (existing, real, rooted in reality, vibrant, physical, powerful _from fading_ )

Looking at (tearing, peering, searching through, invading, violating) the core of everything **He** is.

With every passing minute (day, second, month, week) he could feel **Himself** weakening.

Feel **Himself** losing more and more of **Him**.

He can no longer feel his domains.

Can no longer feel billions of messages passing through him.

Can no longer hear the prayers and words of his followers.

Can no longer accept his offerings.

Can no longer grant blessings to his followers.

(he can feel their faith in him fading, he can _feel_ it.)

He can't feel his caduceus.

Reality (the outside world, Olympus ~~,~~ ~~his family~~ ) feel far away.

Out of touch.

Out of sight.

Out of his ability to perceive.

Very few things felt real.

But very few is still some.

Some things still felt real.

Grounding him to the _here_ and _the now._

The  _hunger_. The desperate, churning hunger that thrums through his body. The desperate terrifying feeling of his essence (or rather. what's _left_ of it) screaming swirling begging for energy.

Panic signals bouncing around inside of him threatening screaming that he will _run out of energy_ if he _doesn't eat_ and he will _fade_ if he doesn't _consume._

 **He** aches.

His shoulders, forever suspended by chains, ache.

His head aches.

His body aches.

Whatever is left of **Him** aches.

He doesn't see the point in holding on.

Was this how ~~**his son**~~ _P a n_ felt?

Losing connection to **Himself**?

Losing pieces of **Himself** to mortals until there was little more than emptiness? Until he was more holes than person?

~~Was how _Luke_ felt to be abandoned by his family? ~~

He aches.

 **He** aches.

He aches for freedom, for home, to feel the sun on his skin and for ~~May’s smiling face~~ the smile of a ~~close~~ companion.

 **Hermes** aches.

 _a_ n **d h** _e_ le _t_ s g **o**.

No one was coming for him.

~~Was this how Ares felt in the jar?~~

~~Was this what it felt like to fade?~~

The imperial gold chains bit into his wrists. Flush against his flesh. To tight. Bound to only get tighter.

No one was coming for him.

There is so little of **Him** left.

He feels transparent.

He feels tired.

~~He feels scared.~~

~~He feels lonely.~~

~~He hopes George and Martha are okay.~~

~~He doesn't _want to die._ ~~

He knows no one is coming for him.

He knows he is alone here.

The walls of this room are blank,

 **Hermes** knows they will stay blank.

Until **He** is blank as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts Hermes was having during this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this at migthnight yall

Do

you

know

what

its 

like

to

lose

yourself

in

your

own

thoughts

?

  
  


To

have 

pieces 

of 

**You**

stolen

bit

by 

bit 

until 

there 

is

almost

nothing

left

?

For 

time 

to 

lose 

all 

meaning 

? 

To 

get 

lost 

in 

your 

head 

?

For 

coherent 

thoughts 

to 

scatter 

like 

the 

wind 

in

your

sandals 

?

For 

you 

to 

be 

unaware 

to 

all

but 

your

inevitable 

demise 

?

There 

was 

pain 

once

.

But 

that 

faded

to 

the 

background 

just 

like 

everything 

else

.

Am 

I 

even 

real

?

Is 

anything

real

?

Is 

this 

just 

a 

bad 

dream 

that 

I 

might 

wake 

up

from

?

Is 

this 

how

it 

feels 

to 

fade

?

Reality 

feels 

distant

.

Reality 

feels 

obscured

.

  
  


When 

was 

the 

last 

time 

I 

opened 

my 

eyes

?

I 

feel 

like 

im

floating

.

Where 

am 

**_I_**

?

S 

c 

a 

t 

t 

e 

r 

e 

d

?

  
  


S 

h 

a 

t 

t 

e 

r 

e 

d 

?

_ Who _

knows

?

Not 

**me**

.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review? maybe?

**Author's Note:**

> The Hermes theory is essentially based off of communications being down, and we (@flightfoot @sakuspring on Tumblr) have discussed it.
> 
> Link to a discussion on the theory: http://flightfoot.tumblr.com/post/178822312572/i-have-a-theory


End file.
